My scale broke, and I have no intention of replacing it. As someone who has spent her whole life trying to lose weight, to take up less space, to just be less and always feeling not good enough because of my weight, I developed a relationship with the scale at a young age. Don’t get me wrong, the scale can be a useful tool, but I have found that for many, myself included, the scale that’s supposed to measure our weight, more often gets used as a scale to measure our self-worth.
I know I’m not alone in those feelings or in the power I’ve given to the number the scale reveals…like shaking a magic 8 ball and waiting for it to decide your fate…. the number that appeared on the scale had the power to make me immediately dislike myself, to vow to “be better” and either way, “good” number or “bad”, it justified my negative self-talk, the need to be so hard on myself, to restrict or consume. In a world that is constantly bombarding us with all the ways we need to “fix” ourselves, it’s hard not to feel inadequate. And to be honest…. it’s fucking exhausting.
I am so done with the self-loathing, and the energy it takes. We consume food- food should not consume us. This journey towards self-acceptance and unconditional self-love started with an internal belief that health and healing and all the good bits of life can only come from being big.
This concept of loving ourselves into better health is what ultimately drove me to enroll in the Nutritional Therapy Practitioner program through the NTA. I knew there was a better way to healing than what was being offered to me.
“Just eat nothing and work out ALL the time!” “Take this supplement, I saw it on Dr. OZ” “You should put up pictures of the body you want all around the house and look at it anytime you eat, so you’re shamed into not eating.” Seriously?? Is this the best we can do? Is this the best advice we have for women?
I refuse to buy into the notion that our only gift to this world is maintaining smallness- to be small in size, to be small in the passion and energy we bring to the world, to be small with our opinions, to not be too loud or opinionated, to not be the funniest person in the room, to not be the most successful person in the room, to always dim down our light to not make others feel bad. To shrink down with insecurities and self-doubt instead of stepping into the full power given to me by my maker (be that God, the universe, source energy- all are welcome to the table)
Well, how’s that been working for you? Do any of those thoughts or ideas make you feel better about yourself? No! But I bet they do make you feel small.
Let’s be BIG! I choose to spend my energy being more…more loving, more generous, more empathetic, more centered, more present, more successful, more knowledgeable. I can be stronger, more flexible, healthier, all of these actions add to my life and are about empowerment and growth; to me, they are worth doing the work. I am ready to take up the full energetic space that I deserve…and I encourage you to join me. Let’s be more, together.
